rebelliousuno | (no subject)

Ask any character I've written/played for advice, and they will provide it, advice columnist style. Your problems or fictional characters' problems both welcome.

Cirelc Nevle (Elven Cleric of Pelor DnD 3rd)
Tarlen (Human Druid/King of the Forest DnD 3/.5)
Krull (Gruuwar Sorcerer Osteomage DnD 3.5 - Unseele court creatures made a pact with a demon prince at one point)
Japeth (Human Fighter DnD 3.5 - Doubleweapon fighter thick as two short planks. Likes the ladies)
Sarascone (Human Wiz/Arch/MT DnD 3.5 - Interested in aquiring as much knowledge as he can about everything. Doesn't like to let books get away from him)

Diamondback (Male Glasswalker Werewolf - Technology obsess werewolf lost an arm and had it replaced with a bionic version)
James Prower (Male Ventrue Vampire - Helicopter Pilot for a high class escort agency. IIRC ended up as Ventrue Primogen for some reason)
Steve (Male Nosferatu Vampire - Drunken Diabetic Tramp need I say more)

Vreego (Male Rodian Scout/Scoundrel/Soldier Star Wars Saga Edition - Pilot with Psychopathic tendencies)
RX-3893 ("Male" M-3PO Droid Scoundrel SW RCR - Droid with broken programming indebted to teh Jawa that rebuilt and reprogrammed him)

Ferrin Mandragoran (Male Ritualist/Ranger Guildwars)
Impulse Buyer (Female Mesmer Guildwars)
Nypher of Avalon (Male Elementalist Guildwars)

There's probably more so if you recall them ask them (though I might not recall them myself....)

ETA : Descriptions of some chars

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Diamondback - I came home last night with more holes than I went out with. What is the best way to get gun shot wounds seen to without involving the pesky authorities?

James Prower - I fancy a change of career. How do I get started in the escort industry?

Diamondback - Well I find that the usual way to deal will gunshot wounds is to first dig out the bullet yourself (unless its a through and through) and then using a needle and thread sew up the hole yourself. Of course if that goes wrong well there's always amputating the offending limb and having it replaced with a bionic version

James Prower - It is often as they say not what you know but who you know. And of course if who you know is one of the low class whores on the streets then maybe you don't want a change in career. Of course look to the skies for much more high class friends. Perhaps start by hiring out your very own suit man and talking to his boss. Oh yes and wear something nice. Perhaps a slinky black number.

Tarlen - IS it true what they say? Can only YOU prevent forest fires?

Vreego - There's a girl that I like, but she won't give me the time of day. What should I do to get her to like me?

RX-3893 - I seem to have a large infestation of large vermin that keep dismantling my plumbing and electrical wiring. Any suggestions?

Do you mean me stopping the forest fires? Because I assure you its not just me that can stop forest fires. You can also do your part too. If you're camping in the forest be sure not to leave your camp fires unattended and don't forget to take all your belongings home with you when you leave.

Clearly this girl needs to be forced to notice you. I've discovered a blaster setting which appears to be popular these days. Its known as "Stun" use it on the girl and take her away with you on your ship. She's bound to notice you then :D

Disclaimer: Be careful despite earlier misconceptions it appears "stun" can kill...why they called it "stun" I'll never know...maybe its an acronym

Oh my. A group of large Vermin you say? That does sound utterly terrible. Perhaps there is some peace you can come to with these creatures? They obviously want to dismantle things perhaps you could give them broken electronic devices to repair or at least distract them with?

Word Nypher,

So, I'm trying to get my girl to try some lateral coital alignment with me, and she's all "Oh no, that's whore sex!"

What gives man? It feels like we never even talk anymore.

Lay your wisdom down.

Guildman

Whoa slow down there

You're clearly moving too fast for her

She wants to take it slow then you give it slow. But show her you care

If I were you I'd put on a firework show. The ladies love fireworks. Lay down your best firestorm and a meteor shower and lateral coital jiggery pokery will be yours for the getting.

Dear Steve,
How do you keep yourself looking so... well looking like you do? Normally I have to do a lot of work to someone with a lot of interesting and very sharp objects to get that level of... whatever it is you've got going on there.

Suggestions?

Mordred
(he's the stabby, mopey, goth elf from Tim's Shadowrun Fantasy hack you weren't in)

Huh wha? Who's talking?

Oh its you well pass me that bottle theresr and I might tell yu.

*glug glug hic*

So's waas a nice girl like you doin' in a plaze like this eh? *hic*

Oh you wants to know how I stay so beau...bea...pretty do you...

Soap...yeah soap...

stay away from it ... god awful stuff...

And drink...lottsss of drink too *hic*.

So yeah drink and no soap...and a bench sleep on a bench some time...yeah it duz wunders fur your back..

*vomit*

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Tarlen Responds

Vreego responds

"Rex" Speaks

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Nypher Responds

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